The other day I was talking to a mom about helping her son with homework. She said something which I will never forget. She said, after helping her son with homework, they got it done, but the process was so emotional her son handed in the homework ... "with tears on the page"!
I can tell you she's not alone.
Two things I have learned, since we launched this business are:
1) Moms are awesome!
Okay, nothing earth shattering here, but it is inspiring to hear how much moms will do to help out their children.
2) It's hard (sometimes impossible) to tutor your own children.
Children react differently to their parents than to a tutor, teacher or coach. Every week I hear a similar story. I tried to sit down and help my son/daughter with their homework, but it ends up in a fight, crying or everybody going to their separate rooms.
My message to you ... it's not you! It's natural. It happens all the time. It doesn't mean you're not patient ... and it doesn't mean you child is ungrateful. It just means that the relationship between a child and a parent is different than the relationship between a student and a tutor or a player and a coach. When we combine these roles it can get confusing ... and everyone gets frustrated.
So what can you do?
First of all, just realizing this is natural can help. You can realize your child getting upset with you isn't personal and you might be able to stop from reacting negatively.
Secondly, you can setup specific times for 'tutoring' you child. This can help define the roles a little better. At 6 o'clock, we're going to sit down and do homework for 30 minutes. During this time, you are going to be acting as the tutor and NOT as the parent. This means not asking them to clean-up the kitchen table during the tutoring time ... otherwise it can confuse the roles again.
Finally, you might want to consider hiring a tutor. In the same way, you find a coach/trainer to help your child excel at sports you can find a tutor to help your child "win at school". In addition to the expertise of the tutor, this takes the emotion out of the situation and gives you child the best opportunity to excel.
If you are thinking about getting a tutor ... give us a call ... we would love to help.
Either way, just remember it's not personal ... and moms are awesome!